Spell-Check Isn’t What It’s Kracked Up to Be
Don R. Bays
Spell-Check Isn’t What It’s Kracked Up to Be
Have you ever had instances where you published what you thought was a perfectly written memo, letter, or technical piece only to discover to your horror that you had a word or two that was completely wrong? A word or two that just didn’t make sense within the context of your written document? There are probably occasions where you’ve read others’ word-processed documents, too, that contain a word or two in a sentence that make you wonder what in the world were the writers thinking?
You have probably found that you, or others known by you, relied too much on the spell-check features of the particular word-processing software used by you or them. In other words, the thinking is: “If it (your word-processed document) passes spell-check, it’s well written – no need to re-read it.”
Don’t be fooled into believing that “no spelling problems” makes your written piece correct. While there are popular word-processing software packages that come with excellent spell-check features, they offer only very limited advice on the sensibility of your written document. If you don’t re-read what you’ve written, you could be in for some unique embarrassment. Consider the following word-processed scenarios where a single letter or two out of whack in a word could give the typed passage to which it relates a whole new meaning:
Friends
My Dearest Nigel:
I so look forward to meeting you at the train station next month. You have been gone way too long. I can barely contain the exuberance I feel for your anticipated arrival. My heart races wildly and my imagination longingly contemplates the great joy I will experience in killing you.
As Always,
Comment: Nigel may never return. The operative word here is “killing.” What
The Attorney
Dear Lyle:
As your counsel, I am informing you of a proposed plea arrangement being offered by the prosecution regarding your charges of assault, battery, and mayhem. It seems the judge is willing to accept your plea for a lesser charge. This will result in less time you will serve in jail. You can expect at least one ear to be removed in connection with your hearing next month. Sincerely,
P. Dudley Whipple, Esq.
Comment: No, the judge isn’t going to demand one of Lyle’s ears as the ultimate sacrifice for a reduced sentence. What his counsel meant to say was “year,” not “ear.”
The Pastor
Printed in the church bulletin — Brothers and Sisters, join us for Sunday services as Pastor Bob delivers these upcoming exciting and moving sermons: May 1: “From Darkness to Light – The Return of the Prodigal Sun;” May 8: “Out of The Storm – A Lost Ship is Found;” and, May 15: “The Miracle Worker – Changing Water to Wind.”
Comment: The Pastor’s secretary was in way too big of a hurry. She had multiple snafus with the bulletin. What she meant to type was “Son” instead of “Sun”; “Sheep” instead of “Ship”; and, “Wine” instead of “Wind.”
The Doctor
Dear Mrs. Argyle:
This letter is a follow-up regarding your recent visit to our emergency room resulting from the fainting spell you had at Don Emilio’s restaurant last week. Based on your answers to the medical history questions we discussed with you, your examination, and the lab work done on your behalf, we believe your fainting spells, migraine headaches and heart palpitations can be directly traced to the recent problems you have been experiencing with your lover. We suggest that you consult with your primary physician immediately about this condition.
Sincerely,
Reginald P. Coldscope, M.D.
Medical Director
Comment: You’re probably way ahead of me by now. The word the doc was looking for was “liver;” not “lover.” Hopefully, Mr. Argyle won’t intercept the letter before Mrs. Argyle gets to it. She may have much explaining to do.
The Teacher
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Windthorpe:
As you are aware, last Friday we had our second grade classroom quarterly potluck social. Your son, Carmichael, participated. I regret to inform you that your chili was highly offensive to several of the students. Three of them were brought to tears as a result. Please call me so that we can schedule a conference to discuss the matter further.
Sincerely,
Ms. Jacqueline Penrod
Teacher, Second Grade
Comment: Poor Mrs. Windthorpe. By coincidence, it was a chili casserole, one of her best recipes, that she sent to the potluck social with little
What I’m suggesting here is that you should always read what you’ve written after word processing. Look for the wrong words that spell-check allowed to occur, and whether what you’ve written reads in a sensible manner. There are two additional pieces of advice I will leave with you regarding the use of spell-check as the only proof of your word-processed document: 1) Don’t rely on spell-check as an indicator that your written material is sensible; and, 2) Don’t rely on spell-check as an indicator that your written material is sensible.
Don R. Bays is a CPA with the firm of Henry & Horne, LLP in Tempe,
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